A wedding, a mansion... you know... a typical weekend.

I just came home from a quick weekend getaway to Rhode Island. I met up with my friend Kim who lives in the cutest house in Newport. I won't publish her addy on the internets, but if you're ever on the Garden Tour of Newport, you will see her charming home that she and her husband put a lot of work into renovating. She was so nice to show me around town. Once again, I had better-town envy. I loved walking past historic, waterfront homes and into town for lunch, as opposed to driving to the closest anything. (Oh, suburbia, we were not meant to be friends!) 

Kim & Steph - pre-vino

The purpose of the trip was to see our mutual friend Nicole get married in Providence. What a beautiful bride! Nicole is so cute and sweet and I'm really happy for her! We had a great time at her wedding and I had maybe a little too much wine. It is entirely too easy to throw back a bottle of vino at a celebration. Or, anytime, for that matter.

The happy couple!

The day after the wedding, Kim showed me more of Newport. It was a little overcast in the morning, but the views were still gorgeous. 

Me, getting in the way of the gorgeous view.

We went on a self-guided audio tour in The Breakers, one of the few mansions open for tours during the off-season. It was equally fascinating and appalling to see this place! The architecture and craftsmanship  involved were impressive, although, I found myself more nauseated than envious of the opulence. I was in love with the views from the bedrooms overlooking the Atlantic Ocean, but the thought of being "introduced to society" at a debutante ball is just so strange. I am very happy to be a humble nobody in society and free from the expectations of being an heiress. We listened to the angst-ridden words of Gladys, the eldest daughter, as she worried about whether anyone would ever see her as the person that she is rather than an heiress of outrageous fortune. It was very interesting to see and to let myself imagine the lifestyle of the family and the servants. I had a couple of Scooby Dooby freak out moments even though I don't think that there is any rumor of hauntings in this mansion. When I looked into the eyes of the portraits, I imagined that the Vanderbilts are still occupying that space somehow. I felt the same way when we were in the enormous kitchen and butler's pantry, where the servants would gossip about the family and perhaps about one another. The imagery of them moving through that space was chillingly vivid.

The Breakers, Newport

When we left, the sun broke free from the clouds so we drove to the beach to see spectacular blue waves. There were a couple of nut-job surfers out there, too. Wetsuit or not, they're crazy!

Second Beach, Newport

With just an hour left to kill before I had to head to the airport, Kim and I returned to the Cooke House where we had brunch earlier in the day. We sipped on coffee and wine on comfy, leather sofas. There was a toasty fire crackling to my right, and this stunning, sunset to my left.

Sunset from The Clarke Cooke House

It was a really lovely weekend in Rhode Island and I'm so happy I was able to see these girls. Also, I don't appreciate home nearly as much if I don't leave it once in a while. Apparently, Matt missed me, too... He took a shot of this stunning (not) view of what he was happy to wake up to this morning. Awwww. It's good to be home. Now, time to plan my next vacation!

Can't take these damn kids anywhere!

I've been accused of having the baby fever, lately. I know... I've written before about how I don't even think I *want* to have kids. I'm going to come out and say it. Lies. Those things were all lies. I've known since I was a toddler that I wanted to have babies but I'm just still not sure when I want to do this.

Anyway, I saw this video and after I was done wiping my tears from laughing so hard, I decided to share.

Winter

Snow can wait, I forgot my mittens.

What I see when I step out of the office these days.

I am craving light and warmth. My Vitamin D, Happy Lite, and endorphins from running are barely keeping my spirits up. Tonight, as I drove home from work on ice-slicked streets, through frigid, foggy air, it felt appropriate to hear Winter by Tori Amos.

  I get a little warm in my heart when I think of winter.

Here she is performing this chilling and gorgeous song on Jay Leno in 1993. Aside from the high-waisted bell bottom jeans, this performance is timeless. I have seen Tori Amos perform a few times in the last 15 years and she is always spellbinding. It's pretty amazing that this holds true in an 18 year old video. The expression on her face and the way that she becomes one with her piano... wow.



I was 15 in 1993. To this day, this song still gives me chills as if I am still that sophomore in high school.

Boys get discovered as winter melts. Flowers competing for the sun.

For me, and probably for many others, this song is about love and expectations. As little girls, we hopefully have fathers who adore us and set a precedent for what we should expect from the men in our lives. 

Years go by and I'm still here waiting; withering where some snowman was.

When Tori Amos sings about white horses and crystal palaces, I imagine a little girl dreaming of her romantic(ized) future. Her father knows that one day, Daddy's love is not going to be enough but, if she has respect for herself, she will not seek validation from just anyone. 

When you gonna love you as much as I do? 

The song ends on a somber note; as the father reaches the end of his life and the daughter is still searching for validation. I feel like the father was sad and knew from the time that his cherished daughter was a little girl, that it totally blows to be a woman and she will never be happy. 

Hair is gray and the fire is burning, So many dreams on the shelf. You say I wanted you to be proud of me. I always wanted that myself. 

While I could run with this theory as it relates to this song, I will instead say that my outlook on life is not nearly as grim as my song analysis. Well, sometimes. 

Maybe I'm wrong about what Tori Amos was writing about. It's very possible that she's talked about her songwriting process and what this song means to her, but I'm not scouring the Internet for that right now. The great thing about music and all art is that it is open for interpretation. A song can be uniquely and deeply meaningful to any given person and sometimes it is surprising to know what a song you love means to someone else. 

A few months ago I read this article about how Tori Amos, and specifically her song Winter, made an impact in the life of professional wrestler Mick Foley. I did not know who Mick Foley was when I read this article, but I did not expect a wrestler to be so sensitive, or for this excerpt to be so well-written. Really, go read it if you haven't already.

Seven weeks until spring, Internet. Seven weeks until the trees are budding and flowers are blooming and the grass is green and we have many more hours of daylight. I'm not sure if it would make me feel better or worse to listen to more cheerful songs about sunshine and happiness, but I think I'm going to indulge myself with a couple more weeks of the Tori Amos kick I've been on and just stay away from sharp objects.