Tuesday, May 31, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge. Days 21-24

This challenge is so annoying right now that I cannot possibly do 4 separate posts for the songs I missed during the long weekend. Here, with little commentary, days 21-24.

Day 21: A Song I Listen To When I Am Happy. Sausalito - Conor Oberst


Day 22: A Song I Listen To When I am Sad. My favorite Bob Dylan song, "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright." The first version of this song that I heard was Susan Tedeschi's. It was 2002 or 2003. I was driving at night, crying in the dark car, and this song came on the radio.

Suze Rotolo, the chick on the cover of The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan, is said to be the inspiration for this song, although, it turns out to be less bittersweet than I originally thought. If you're interested in the story, read this:


Here is the song performed by half of Metric:



Day 23: A Song I Want Played At My Wedding. My wedding happened already... but, after the wedding, Matt and I realized we somehow missed this song when writing the list of tunes for the DJ. I don't give a shit if this is an obvious choice. It's gorgeous and I will love it forever.

Never Tear Us Apart, INXS.



Day 24: A Song I Want Played At My Funeral. I can't take credit for thinking of this song. Back when email "surveys" were all the rage, this question was asked and one of my friends, (I don't remember who,) said she wanted this song played at her funeral. Perfect.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Dear Sir, Kindly Remove Your Junk From My Trunk

Today's unsavory word-of-the-day: Frotteurism - When a person gets off on rubbing their junk on people or groping others, usually in a crowded space like a rush-hour subway train, so they can pretend that the contact is unavoidable. 

I'm not a big fan of crowds, but I would rather tolerate the closeness of others than miss out on concerts or other events. I have learned that at 5' tall, it is important that I get to a general admission show early so that I can race to the front, otherwise, I will be staring at the back of someone's head for 2 hours. Still, even at the front of the stage, people start getting uncomfortably close, dancing without regard to personal space of others, but it doesn't ruin my night when someone is literally moved by the music and accidentally bumps into me a couple of times. Saturday night was a different story.

Jenny & Johnny, Rams Head Live, October 2010
The weather was brilliant and we were all happily enjoying drinks in the sun while waiting for Bob Schneider and his band to take the stage. We found a spot right against the rail when a quick shower came through. The crowd scattered, but we stayed in place. I wasn't giving up that spot and I could see that there was just a small patch of grey sky and the rain wouldn't last long enough to cancel the show. Ten minutes later, the sun returned and we found ourselves drenched, but refreshed and ready to rock.

When the band began to play, I could feel the crowd behind me move closer. I didn't think anything of it, although, I felt like the man behind me was a little too close. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and figured that everyone was trying to edge closer.

I was singing along, having a great time, when Mister-A-Little-Too-Close started with his bull shit. I felt something on my hip. And then again on my back. That was an accident, right? People must be pushing to get closer to the stage. It continues... poke ... pokepoke. WTF. This was not an accident. I turned  around and looked at him with disgust. I slung my purse over my shoulder to try to create distance. I could see that there were a lot of people standing behind him, but he had plenty of personal space behind him. After I gave him several dirty looks, he eventually left. I enjoyed the last few songs, relieved that he was gone, but the next day, I was pretty pissed off at myself for not being more assertive. I could have enjoyed the entire show if I had called him out on his vile behavior from the very beginning. I guess I am naive and I know I am non-confrontational. When it dawned on me that this guy was intentionally doing this, I was passive aggressive in my defense. Slinging my purse and giving him an evil eye may have just fueled his perverted fire.

The trouble is, even though I learned (in a women's studies class in college,) how to deal with this kind of person, I was in such disbelief that I didn't know how to say something. I can't believe it when people are social deviants who just do whatever the hell they want. I am so timid that if I did manage to say something to him, it would have probably been a polite request to please cut it out with the frottage. That actually may have been effective if I said it loud enough for others to hear. The only way to stop this type of behavior is to call attention to it and shame the perpetrator. Of course, looking back, I wish I had the confidence to shout and make a scene, but I worry that would make the situation worse. My fear is that he would become aggressive and I would find myself in an even worse predicament. Instead, I just let him spoil my fun by making me feel uncomfortable and angry. I'm so disappointed that I didn't manage to stand up for myself and tell him to stop.

I don't want to go through life worried that something bad might happen, but I need to learn how to be more effectively defensive in such situations. Do you have a quip ready-to-go for people like this? How should I have handled this? Should I have handled it? What would you say or do in this situation?

Friday, May 27, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge. Day 20: A Song I Listen To When I'm Angry.

Before Cee Lo dropped the F bomb in a pop song, Lily Allen delivered a sugary message of contempt to all of the a-holes of the world. This is a great song to listen to in the car when you're driving away from a stressful encounter with horrible people. Don't listen to this at work or in front of impressionable children or near your born-again mother-in-law.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge. Day 19: A Song From My Favorite Album

One of my favorite albums in recent years is Rabbit Fur Coat by Jenny Lewis. This video is reminiscent of an old episode of Hee Haw, and the lyrics are just brilliant. If you are my friend and you aren't in love with Rabbit Fur Coat and Acid Tongue, and every Rilo Kiley album, and Jenny & Johnny, we need to have words. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge. Day 18: A Song I Wish I Heard On The Radio

I would love for this song and others by the Baltimore/Nashville-based band, Fall Back Plan, to be played on the radio. This song from their first EP is available on iTunes and Amazon.com, along with the more recently released Dance in The Reign album. Help a brother (my brother) out by buying both today! http://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/fall-back-plan/id278546011

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge. Day 17: A Song I Hear Often On The Radio

I've been in a big folksy, singer-songwritery kind of place for quite a while now, but when I heard the new Foo Fighters album, well... it was like a rock and roll awakening. I am loving this album and the single that is out right now, Arlandria, is a rockgasm from God.

Monday, May 23, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge. Day 16: A Song I Used To Love And Now Hate.

Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal. I loved this song as a kid, but I cannot handle a note of it now. This song was a favorite of the Today Show during the coverage of MJ's death and it is an earworm from hell. On behalf of Annie, "I'm ****ing FINE, Michael!"

Saturday, May 21, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge. Day 14. A Song No One Would Expect Me To Love.

Day 14 - A Song No One Would Expect Me To Love.

After admitting to Marky Mark, Samantha Fox, and Cyndi Lauper yesterday, would anyone really be surprised by anything? I think I'm a pretty open book, but I guess some may be surprised that sometimes I will listen to (and butcher at the top of my lungs) Broadway music in the car.

My husband LOVES* when I put on the Wicked soundtrack and belt out As Long As Your Mine or scream FIYERRROOOOOOOOOO at the beginning of No Good Deed.

*In opposite world. 

I'll leave it to the professionals for the sake of this post.
Here is a video of the incomparable Idina Menzel singing No Good Deed. This lady is crazy talented AND she gets to go home every night to Taye Diggs. Some girls have all the luck.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Day 13. Feels like 13000. 30 Days of Songs: A Guilty Pleasure.

Guilty pleasure... This is another fun category, so I will expose my vulnerable soul with three embarrassing admissions. I'm not saying I listen to these on a regular basis, but I wouldn't turn them off if I heard them on the radio. I'm also taking the easy way out and using guilty pleasures from long ago. I'll never tell what I secretly listen to these days...

Good Vibrations: Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch. I mean, come on. (come on, feel it, feel it.)



I think my favorite part of this next video is when the guitar and bass player do a grapevine along with Samantha Fox. Later, the keyboard player spins before playing a chord. Everything is so disgustingly 80's. I was NOT allowed to buy her record. Mom found Jesus around the same time that I found Samantha Fox, Touch Me.



And finally, a video that combines a guilty pleasure song with a guilty pleasure flick: the Time After Time dance scene in Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion. Just brilliant.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge: Days 10-12.

Quick catch up. It's been a week, so I slacked a little.
A Song I Fall Asleep To: One Tree Hill, U2. This song has some great imagery to send a person off to dreamland... of course, when Bono starts screaming at the end, you're going to wake up, so I don't actually recommend this song as a lullabye.



A Song From My Favorite Band: Please Hold On While The Train Is Moving, Old 97's. This fan-made video is very cool... Plus, the top of the back of my head might possibly be in it since I was at this show in Philadelphia last December. Send an envelope with one dollar and a SASE and I'll send you my autograph.



A Song From A Band I Hate: I will not be linking a video to a song I hate because I am not going to watch it and allow it to get into my head... A song played at Orioles games that makes me wish I were a Red Sox fan because Sweet Caroline is so much more fun? Cotton Eye Joe. Why? Why, Orioles, why?

Monday, May 16, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge. Day 9. A Song I Can Dance To.

Is this a trick question? I cannot dance, sillies! Okay, fine. There may have been a phase in my life that has lasted for 25 years (and counting,) in which I attempt to move my body while singing into a round hairbrush to pretty much any Madonna song that exists. Madonna songs are also quite excellent for creating  a dressing room montage with lots of fun 80's outfits--- um, not that I would know. (Clearly, use Dress You Up if faced with this challenge. Again, NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW.)

Since this was a trick question, I'm cheating with a couple of Madge songs that I have been dancing to since they actually played videos on MTV, and a more recent song from Confessions On A Dance Floor. I would attempt to mimic her moves as a kid, but I have learned it's best to just hop on the elliptical or treadmill to her tunes to avoid embarrassment. Still, if the urge to dance strikes, Confessions On A Dance Floor

From Desperately Seeking Susan, Into The Groove:



Open Your Heart:


Sorry:

30 Day Song Challenge. Day 8. Song I Know All Of The Words To. Because The Night, To The Fourth Power.

Oops. I did not do my Day 8 homework on time. This time it IS because I flaked.

Sunday's song: A song I know all of the words to.

There are a lot to choose from, but I'll share a song that has two sets of lyrics, depending on who is singing. Bruce Springsteen wrote this song for his album Darkness On The Edge Of Town, but because of legal issues and his own dissatisfaction with the song, he gave it to Patti Smith who penned her own verses. Just a few subtle word swaps and the dynamic of the song is dramatically different. Bruce's version brings the perspective of his trademark working-man, while Patti's version has a raw, carnal urgency. You can hear the longing in her voice as she sings, "touch me now, touch me now, touch me now."

Patti Smith's lyrics:
Take me now baby here as I am
Pull me close, try and understand
Desire is hunger is the fire I breathe
Love is a banquet on which we feed

Come on now try and understand
The way I feel when I'm in your hands
Take my hand come undercover
They can't hurt you now,
Can't hurt you now, can't hurt you now

Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to lust
Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us

Have I doubt when I'm alone
Love is a ring, the telephone
Love is an angel disguised as lust
Here in our bed until the morning comes

Come on now try and understand
The way I feel under your command
Take my hand as the sun descends
They can't touch you now, Can't touch you now,
Can't touch you now

With love we sleep
With doubt the vicious circle
Turns and burns
Without you I cannot live
Forgive, the yearning burning
I believe it's time, too real to feel
So touch me now, touch me now, touch me now...



Bruce's lyrics:

Take me now baby here as I am
Pull me close and try and understand
I work all day out in the hot sun
Stay with me now until morning comes

Come on now try and understand
The way I feel when I'm in your hands
Take me now as the sun descends
They can't hurt you now (x3)

Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us
Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us

What I got I have earned
What I'm not I have learned
Desire and hunger is the fire I breathe
Just stay in my bed until the morning comes

Your love is here and now
The vicious circle turns and burns withought
Though I cannot live forgive me now
The time has come to take this moment and
They can't hurt you now



And if you love this song as much as I do, here are two more fantastic versions. 10,000 Maniacs from their Unplugged session, and Rhythms del Mundo with KT Tunstall. By the time you watch all of these videos, you'll know all the words, too.



Saturday, May 14, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge, Day 7. Song That Reminds Me Of A Certain Event.

This next song was the last song to be played at my wedding reception. Lovely, simple lyrics that remind me of that last dance with my new husband, surrounded by all of the people that we love.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Day 5 and Day 6. Songs That Remind Me Of Someone and Somewhere.

Double post? Not even a week in and I flaked on a 30 day challenge? No. I was proud of myself for faithfully blogging on a daily basis and then Blogger was down yesterday. Maybe I broke Blogger. Back to business...

Day 5: A Song That Reminds Me Of Someone.

My first crush on a boy who wasn't famous or inappropriately older than me, was some blonde kid in my 2nd grade class. I was only 7 or 8, so I didn't know what to do about a crush except think about him all of the time and stare at him at recess, wondering why I liked boys when they were so weird. The only thing that has changed is I no longer have recess.

Like any good child of the 80's, I spent a lot of time watching videos on MTV or Friday Night Videos, or on that video show that came on after Saturday morning cartoons. I remember feeling like I was being bad when, for the first time, I listened to a love song(?) and thought about a boy at the same time. I thought about this unsuspecting towhead while listening to Cutting Crew's I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight. I felt postively sinful for wondering what the heck I was doing in his arms! (Scandalous!) I had no idea what the whole song was about, and I do not care to recall the lyrics right now to analyze because it just doesn't matter. I was just a dumb kid... and to this day, I think of that little blonde boy in Mrs. Ballard's second grade class when I hear this. I also think of Horatio Sanz and Will Ferrel, but I am not finding sufficient videos to share of the Cutting Crew video or SNL skit. I'm sure nobody will be upset that this video is missing from this post.

Day 6: A Song That Reminds Me Of Somewhere.

This next song takes me back to a special place. The inside of my banged up, 1987 Ford Escort. Before anyone is disappointed, this has nothing to do with backseat shenanigans. My first car was an eyesore, but I loved him. Yes, my first car was a boy. His name was Merth, unoriginally inspired from the MerthMobile of Wayne's World. I was in an accident that resulted in a dented passenger side door that I had to open from the inside for guests. Not passengers, guests. I decorated the backseat with a pretty throw and some pillows. I think this really bothered my parents, but with my burgeoning independence, I decided it was best if I did not explain that I was not setting the stage for those backseat shenanigans. Merth witnessed some irresponsible behavior, but mostly, he listened as my friends and I sang at the top of our lungs while driving aimlessly through Baltimore.

I got my driver's license in 1994. I had a mix-tape for my first drive without supervision ready for months. The tape deck would destroy cassettes unless I shoved a pen cap underneath the tape to secure it in place. I know every generation thinks the music from their teen years were the best, but the soundtrack to my teen years included Smashing Pumpkins, Tori Amos, Nirvana, Counting Crows, Nine Inch Nails, Pearl Jam, The Cranberries... Okay, we also had Ace of Base, but still, my generation wins. While Merth was subjected to some less cool tunes, there is a song that takes me back to the summer of 1994, behind the wheel that shook if I drove more than 60 miles per hour, driving intentionally over those weird dips in the road that make you feel exhilarated and nauseated all at once. Like my "happy song" from Day 3, this song sounds more cheerful than it should if you examine the lyrics, but the manic depression of Smashing Pumpkin's Today is, in my opinion,  perfect to reflect the highs and lows of moody adolescence.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge Day 4. A Song That Makes Me Sad.

I'm just going to cheat and link to my post about the Wilco song, At My Window, Sad and Lonely. The title says it all, right? Unfortunately, the video has been removed from YouTube by the user so we'll try again with this video from a Jeff Tweedy show in Charlottesville, VA.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge Day 3. A Song That Makes Me Happy

It's Day Three of this challenge and time to share a song that makes me happy. Belle and Sebastian's Another Sunny Day probably shouldn't make me happy, but that isn't obvious until the end. The music is poppy and delightful, and the lyrics are clever and sweet.

Another sunny day, I met you up in the garden
You were digging plants, I dug you, beg your pardon
I took a photograph of you in the herbaceous border
It broke the heart of men and flowers and girls and trees

I doubt that a lot of teenage girls spend their afternoons gardening, but I imagine that this is the story of young love, that doesn't work out in the end.

The lovin is a mess, what happened to all of the feeling?
I thought it was for real, babies, rings and fools kneeling
And words of pledging trust and lifetimes stretching forever
So what went wrong, it was a lie, it crumbled apart
Ghost figures of past, present, future haunting the heart 

Still, this song makes me happy. I imagine this couple in 20 years, relieved that the relationship ended, but happy that it happened.

While this 30 day thing is already starting to weigh on me, (really? 27 more days of this?) this whole challenge was worth it to find this adorable video. Great job, Nicole Benz and Calen Henry. Just perfect!

Monday, May 9, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge - Day Two. My Least Favorite Song.

I went a little overboard presenting my first song challenge yesterday. Today, I will keep it simple. My least favorite song: My Humps - Black Eyed Peas. There's no need for elaboration. It just sucks.

My Favorite Song - Or One Of Them. (30 Day Song Challenge)

A couple of friends have started doing a 30 Day Song Challenge. Instead of posting my answers on FB, I thought, "Blog Content!"

Day One: I am supposed to choose my favorite song. Like most people I know, I do not have just one favorite song, but one of my enduring favorites is Sarah McLachlan's Fumbling Towards Ecstasy. I know... It's 2011 and the thought of Sarah just bums everyone out because we all associate her with those depressing SPCA commercials. But in 1994, this album became the soundtrack to my angst-filled high school years. As an insecure teenager, daydreaming about the person that I would become in my adult life, (and also boys,) this song was very empowering. In the book Reviving Ophelia, author Mary Pipher writes about how girls lose themselves to society's expectations of how women should behave. She writes about the exuberant 8 year old girl who will speak up in class or talk about herself with enthusiasm and pride. Just a few years later, as that same girl enters adolescence, she is faced with issues of peer pressure, sexuality, body image, and more, often resulting in the loss of the girl's personality. Pipher calls this the result of a "girl poisoning culture." As I dealt with the self-conscious imprisonment of adolescence, the song Fumbling Towards Ecstasy helped me imagine a world where I let myself accept my feelings without overanalyzing them or questioning their validity. The lyrics told the story of a woman who does not hold back her tears, who does not politely shrink away when infuriated.

All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
It's my mouth that pushes out this breath

And if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love

Did I still shrink away politely in situations that infuriated me? Yup. Did I pridefully hold back tears when people disappointed me? Sure. Still do. But did this song enter my psyche and feed my soul with the idea that love isn't always an idyllic fantasy, but that nothing is more euphoric than the height of romantic, passionate love that can only be experienced after unself-consciously exposing our most loathsome qualities and finding love anyway? Oh my God, yes.

Companion to our demons
They will dance, and we will play
With chairs, candles, and cloth
Making darkness in the day
It will be easy to look in or out
Upstream or down, without a thought

Our auspicious selves can co-exist with our demons. They're going to, whether we like it or not. Sometimes darkness will eclipse moments of joy, but we are free to experience the continuum of emotions. And without promising a happy ending, a person can come to terms with sadness if they know that every emotion is fleeting.

Peace in the struggle to find peace
Comfort on the way to comfort

Oh how I love the honesty of this verse. Peace in the struggle to find peace is a much more attainable goal than the saccharine serenity that a women's magazine might try to sell. It is comforting to be prepared for the next stage, to know that it won't be perfect, but that it will be okay. My God. Just awesome. I think I need to add this to a regular rotation again.

Here's a video of the transcendental version of this song from the Mirrorball tour/DVD.






Thursday, May 5, 2011

Puppy's First (And Last) Concert, An Evening With The Damnwells and Friends.

Spring is really here! Wanna know how I can tell? Tonight was my first outdoor concert of the season!

WTMD, one of my favorite radio stations out of Towson, has a series of shows called First Thursdays In The Park. Located in Mount Vernon, people with good taste in tunes come together for a fun night of sunshine (if we're lucky, and we were,) beer, and free music. When I read on the event site that leashed dogs were welcome, I was really excited. I usually feel guilty about going out on weeknights because the dog was at home alone while I was at work all day. This was the perfect way to socialize, see a band, and include the pup in the festivities. I gave my cousin Dave a call because he is usually up for a new band, and I knew that he would like to bring his dog along, too. We met with my friends Melissa and Sheila on this gorgeous Cinco de Mayo evening.

Mt. Vernon
 Tonight's show was headlined by The Damnwells with Harper Blynn. What a great band! Who are The Damnwells? Learn about them here, and watch and listen to them here. You won't be sorry.

The Damnwells
Melissa is more familiar with the band than I am. I love hearing Melissa talk about music because she really knows her stuff! While she can recognize a guitar on sight, the first thing that I thought to Google during the car ride home were The Damnwells lyrics. She explained that she really enjoyed the band's songs on the first listen, but when she really paid attention to the lyrics, she was smitten.

Okay. I know what you're wondering. What did Maggie the Dog think of The Damnwells? 

Suburban Dog Did Not Enjoy The City
This was Maggie's first adventure in the big city. Maggie is apparently as anxious in the city as I am in the suburbs. She loves people, but I think that the new environment, the crowd, and the loud music were a bit overwhelming for her. We made the attempt to meander through the crowds for an ideal spot, but it was just a little too much for her. Thanks to Melissa and Sheila for agreeing to watch the show from the side of the stage instead of our preferred spot, front and center. She was mostly well-behaved. Mostly.

Meanwhile, Dave's standard poodle Bindi was acting the part of angelic, ideal dog.  She was also a babe-magnet for Dave. Dave may or may not have become a Damnwells fan tonight, but he got some girl's digits, so the night was a success for him.

Back to Maggie... Whenever another dog tried to play with Bindi, Maggie became jealous. Apparently, Maggie is that possessive bitch friend from high school who won't let you hang out with other people, er, dogs. She tripped an elderly man as she was jumping over her leash in a canine double dutch fashion. She had her leash tangled beneath her legs and as I stood there, trying to coax her to come towards me so that I could fix it, some man decided he needed to intervene with my bad-dog-mom skills and told me that I needed to fix her leash. Frazzled and irritated, I thanked him for his concern and then told him to mind his business. He found me later and told me that he just moved to Baltimore from the mid-west and I was the first person to become "aggressive" with him. I hope he learned not to shell out unsolicited advice in the city because God dammit, I'm a nice person and I was clearly TAKING CARE OF IT! As a lead contender for least-confrontational person in the world, I took his "aggro" comment as a compliment. When he saw me later in the night, Maggie jumped over her leash and tangled her legs again, because she is in my life to teach humility and would not, could not just sit still like the PERFECT DOG that she is when we are at home!

My darling dog, I love you as much as I love rock and roll, but this is the last time that I attempt to share an evening with both of you. 








Wednesday, May 4, 2011

"We Don't Need To Spike The Football."

I was ready to hit the hay early on Sunday night. I had to be up at 4:30 the following morning and I wanted to get at least six hours of sleep. As I was scrolling through Twitter one last time, I read that there would be a statement from the President at 10:30 PM. An unannounced statement this late on a Sunday night? This has to be bad. This has to be really big, really bad news. 

I thought about just going to bed and finding out what the big deal was on the morning news, but I am not a patient person. I knew I would just lie awake in bed, imagining the most horrific scenarios and eventually trading my resolve to sleep for the impulse to push the power button on the remote.

At 10:30, I turned on MSNBC. While waiting and wondering why the statement was delayed, I continued to scroll through Twitter. There was a lot of speculation. Maybe we were going to war with Libya. Maybe aliens were about to attack. Maybe the Mayans were off by a year. The news networks finally confirmed that the President would be on to tell the nation that Osama Bin Laden had been killed. 

My first emotional reaction? Relief. I was so worried that the news was going to involve an impending nuclear attack or an announcement that we have officially declared war on Libya. Or, you know, all Americans would be required to circle their homes with glasses of water to thwart alien invasion and since Americans cannot possibly unite in a time of crisis, we were all doomed. 

I watched as the President delivered the news. 
Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader; he was a mass murderer of Muslims.  Indeed, al Qaeda has slaughtered scores of Muslims in many countries, including our own.  So his demise should be welcomed by all who believe in peace and human dignity.
Am I happy that Osama Bin Laden is dead? I'm not supposed to be happy that anyone is dead, right? Whether a person is Christian, liberal, atheist, or conservative, it doesn't seem appropriate to celebrate death. But this is the mastermind behind the terrorist attacks that killed thousands of innocent people. Rationally, I know that there are many people who hope to fill Bin Laden's shoes, but his death is symbolic. It might provide closure for people who lost loved ones on September 11th. Right? But violence begets violence,,, But eye for an eye... but... SIGH. Three days later, I'm still not entirely sure that there is a word that encompasses this emotion that is composed of relief, emptiness, satisfaction, and fear. 


Remember how Americans actually seemed to be united following 9/11, at least for the first few days? Before the politics of war, before the ethnocentrism took over and Arab Americans were ostracized, we were silenced. Some were stunned that such a thing could happen on American soil, but we were all horrified by the images and magnitude of death. Maybe I was naive at the young age of 23, but for a brief moment, I thought that maybe our country could get over our petty differences and actually make some progress towards a more perfect union. Since I did not really pay much attention to politics before that time, I can't say whether today's political environment is any  more or less vitriolic, but it has certainly been ugly and polarizing in recent years. 


Moments after the President finished his statement, the news started showing footage of spontaneous congregations standing outside of the White House and at the WTC site.  I updated my Facebook status to say that I had chills watching the people come together. I have since deleted that status. It was true. I really did feel something. Or maybe I just wanted to feel something. I have been so filled with anxiety and disappointment over politics that for a moment, I hoped that we could find something to agree on. And that would be cause for celebration right? I don't know... That hopeful feeling sure didn't last for long. Yes. Osama Bin Laden's death is powerfully symbolic. But, the war wages on. The wars in the Middle East as well as the war between Republicans, Democrats, and the people that they represent. I don't want to accuse the people who gathered at the White House of being as evil as those who celebrated the deaths that Bin Laden sanctioned. I personally know at least a couple of people who were there and I know that they are good, kind people. I just think that nobody really knew HOW to react but felt the need to do something - like I did with my status update. 


Soon, the skeptical comments started to appear. I heard people talk about conspiracy theories. People who would have crowned W for this "achievement," were now incredulous that President Obama would have the audacity to claim this victory as his own. (Did he do that? He mentioned in his speech that he authorized the operation... is that taking "credit"?  He is the Commander In Chief, whether a person likes that fact or not.) Some believe that this news has come out as a distraction from the birth certificate ordeal of last week. (UGH.) Some do not believe that he is really dead. Apparently, we now require televised executions? Bloodthirsty skeptics are demanding photographs. My nauseated anxiety over politics has returned with a vengeance. 


Today, President Obama announced that he would not release the photographs. There are arguments, from the left and the right, about whether this is the right decision. I voted for Barack Obama and will likely vote for him again in 2012, but I do not agree with every decision that he has made in office. In regard to the decision to keep these morbid photos out of the media, I stand behind the President. As he says in an interview that will air on "60 Minutes," 
It is important for us to make sure that very graphic photos of somebody who was shot in the head are not floating around as an incitement to additional violence.... I think Americans and people around the world are glad that he's gone. But we don't need to spike the football.
I believe that this is a situation that is too complex to have a concretely positive or negative reaction. I understand that people may feel a sense of closure and I also understand that the politics, terrorism, greed, religious intolerance, war, and everything else wrapped into this whole story, is absolutely tragic.