Ugh. I know it's lame. Maggie has mastered the guilt trip. When it becomes clear to her that Matt and I are headed out of the house, she will get excited... This is sad because we know she's not coming. It's like high school when the popular kids ask if you want to go out and your nerdly friend assumes she's hanging out with you, per usual. You don't want to hurt her feelings, but you have to find a way to ditch her. (Also, you're an asshole, if any of this is true.)
If one of us makes the mistake of opening the front door without caution, she will run to the patio and turn into stone. It's neither fun nor easy to drag a sad, uncooperative 65 pound dog back into the house. Next, she will grab her seatbelt harness or her leash with a pathetically sad face, communicating that she knows she has to stay home, even though these things exist that grant her access to outside. Maggie also likes the world outside of these walls.
I feel like I've been gone a lot lately, and as a result, she's been extra needy. Knowing she was abandoned by her first family, it's a little harder to deal with those sad eyes, and so, I tweeted my Friday night, dog-freak, loser status:
Which was met with this response:
Maybe she was kidding, but also, maybe she was thinking, Jesus Christ. Do you ever leave your house? I just publicly declared on Twitter that I'm a loser who lets her dog dictate her Friday night. I really had no choice at this point...
Lizz said that one of the great things about coming to these shows is everyone can look around and think, Thank God, I'm not alone! Seriously. I love the conservatives in my life but the constant barrage of hateful political speak that I hear, read, and try to avoid, is disheartening. Being in a small room filled with men and women who knew what to expect at a Planned Parenthood show, who walked past protesters singing about money and murder, who had the doors opened for them by police security, filled my spirit with a more concentrated version of the camaraderie I felt amongst thousands of like-minded folks at last year's Rally To Restore Sanity.
After finding a way to get a roomful of people to laugh about politicians who are trying to strip women of their rights, (among so many other jacked up things,) she shared how Planned Parenthood helped her, without judgement, when she was a teenager. She said that her story is not extraordinary, and that there are a thousand young women who find themselves in the same situation. This is why Planned Parenthood is necessary.
Yes, they perform abortions. No, that is not their main objective. Only 3% of their services are abortion services. No, federal tax dollars are not funding them. They also provide birth control, pap tests, breast exams, and other life-saving health screens for women who cannot otherwise afford them.
Many thanks to Lizz Winstead:
~ for co-creating The Daily Show.
~ for introducing Rachel Maddow to the world.
~ for using your gift of intellectual comedy to raise money for Planned Parenthood.
~ for getting my lame ass out of my house last night.
PS. Those blue t-strap heels you were wearing? Hot.